Control – thought dump 5

It’s been a while since my last update, I’ve been trying to figure out the right words to day since my last post.

Today has been the first day where I haven’t woken up to shaking and heart palpitations. I don’t feel the anxiety this morning – and it’s great.

A lot has happened in the past week or so – most of which I can’t share publicly, but for those in the know, it’s only been good.

Today, I feel in control of my emotions. I feel in control of my future, and what is going to happen in the next few months.

I’m going to be starting my 2x doseage of my antidepressant on Monday, and I really hope that the side effects aren’t going to be any worse.

The feeling of being in control is elating, I am overjoyed that I am somewhat of my former self. I can and will be happy again.

Next month, I am going far, far outside of my comfort zone. My close friends already know what this is about and I owe it all to them for making me feel a bit less terrified about what I’m going to be doing.

You know who you are – and for that, I thank you for being there for me to talk to, for me to just dump all of my thoughts upon. And for you, reader, for listening to the random thoughts of a guy on the internet.

I’ll leave you with this song. The lyrics mean a great deal to me. It’s about venturing into the unknown and facing your deamons.

They’ll tell you I don’t care anymore
And I hope you’ll know that’s a lie

‘Cause I’ve found what I have been waiting for
But to get there means crossing a line

Thank you.

 

Published by

Matt Arnold

Snake-keeper/Sysadmin

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